Monday, September 19, 2005

Xen of Phobe on Ears

Back near Uranus, there is another irregular spherical object, here on earth you have named it Caliban

On Caliban a tyrant who fears giving freedom to the inhabitants rules them. The tyrant in charge, is not from Caliban but from another spherical object near Uranus, named Miranda. Hail Miranda the population of Caliban now have to say.

You should fear the inhabitants of Miranda, they are eleutherophobic and get everywhere. I see that here on Earth you have had a recent visit from another Marandian. You can spot them, because they have big ears

Why not write to this Eleutherophobic Marandian and direct him to get Trusted, Effective Treatment for Eleutherophobia

“As I told thee before, I am subject to a tyrant, a sorcerer, that by his cunning hath cheated me of the island”.


Friday, September 16, 2005

Oh to return Home to Phobe

One of the neighbouring spherical objects to Phobe, is named Sycorax , it is an "irregular" moon. An interesting feature of Sycorax is that at the pericenter of its orbit it goes close to Uranus.

The population on this moon are all of the same sex. On phobe we call these inhabitants 'Eurotophobics'. I see, that a Eurotophobic has arrived here on earth before me and like his home moon he continues to orbit close to uranus.

There is no need to fear him. For less than the price of a round-trip airline ticket to Brussels, you can now get Treatment for Eurotophobia

"Then fate o'er-rules, that, one man holding troth, A million fail, confounding oath on oath".

Oh to return Home to Phobe

Wednesday, April 06, 2005

Xen of Phobe on beer

"Smile at us, pay us, pass us; but do not quite forget. For we are the people of England, that never have spoken yet."

"A few men talked of freedom, while England talked of ale."

Xen, was in the middle of composing some diatribe about the beer that he has found on this planet, particularly, English beer. But this gentleman from Ireland has beaten me to it, Twenty Major still smoking in Dublin bars

English beers. Well. Mmmmmm, warm ales, fizzy bitters which look like TK red lemonade and the unspeakable filth that is Newcastle Brown Ale. The dangleberries of a million Geordies swilled around in some old piss and washing up water then stuck into bottles. It tastes like what your vomit would taste like if you vomited, ate it back up, vomited again, ate it up again then vomited it back into a glass full of mud. Put a little umbrella at the top and you've got a Geordie cocktail. Right, Mosher?

He also discusses the disgusting from Brussels.

That reminds me, on Sycorax the Eurotophobic has lashings of ginger beer.


Friday, April 01, 2005


What a funny planet this is. I have only been here a short while and I have discovered that some of your leaders do not welcome strangers and they are unduly fearful and contemptuous of me.